Why “20 Things to Throw Out Right Now” Isn’t the Advice You Need

You’ve probably seen the posts: “20 Things to Throw Away Right Now to Declutter Your Life.”

They promise a fast fix—just toss these items and you’ll feel better, lighter, clearer.

But if that worked for you… it probably would have by now.

For many people—especially those who are neurodivergent, chronically disorganized, or simply overwhelmed—this kind of advice doesn’t just fall flat. It can actually backfire.

Let’s talk about why.

1. It Assumes the Problem Is the Stuff

The reality? The challenge usually isn’t just about physical clutter. It’s about decision-making, emotional attachment, sensory regulation, identity, or burnout. A list of “trashable items” doesn’t account for that. And it can make you feel like you're failing at something that's supposed to be “easy.”

2. It Overlooks Emotional Attachment and Decision Fatigue

What looks like “just a broken mug” to someone else might be your late aunt’s favorite cup. Or maybe it reminds you of a specific time in your life.

For neurodivergent people especially, objects can serve as memory anchors. The idea of “just get rid of it” ignores the cognitive and emotional labor involved in letting go.

3. It Triggers Shame, Not Momentum

These lists are often meant to motivate. But for those living with ADHD, executive dysfunction, or chronic disorganization, they can reinforce shame: Why can’t I just do this? Why is this so hard for me?

Spoiler: it’s not about willpower. And you’re not broken. The advice just isn’t designed with you in mind.

So What Works Instead?

Here’s what I’ve seen work for my clients—and what might work for you:

• Go slower. Progress doesn’t have to be fast to be meaningful.

• Start with permission. It’s okay to keep things until you’re ready.

• Use curiosity over judgment. Ask: What does this item represent? Do I actually want or need it?

• Try a “maybe” box. Give yourself a no-pressure holding zone for tough decisions.

• Work with someone. Whether it’s a body double, a coach, or a trusted friend—support matters.

A Gentler Way to Begin

If you still want a list, here’s mine:

Pick one item today that you feel ready to release. That’s it. No timeline, no pressure. Just one small step in your own way, at your own pace.

You don’t need to declutter like everyone else.

You just need a process that honors who you are.

Need a compassionate reset?

Schedule a Gentle Organizing Session—virtual or in person—and create space that feels like home, at your own pace.